In the summer, when all the Fudgies are in town, Michiganders have lots of reasons to laugh. Mostly at the Fudgies. I know this because I’ve seen them point and laugh at me. Just yesterday, in fact.
In the winter, they (we) have to make our own fun. WinterFest, IceFest, WineFest, BeerFest, I’m-So-Bored-I’m-Gonna-Jump-Naked-In-The-Lake Fest. Name it – it’s Fested.
Last weekend I went to the MicroBrew/MusicFest. I spent a lot of time people watching as I was, personally, having a PortaPottyFest.
Oh, the ladies bemoaned the sad reality of sitting down. We strategized about the best way to peel off layers without dragging our hems. The men gloated about not having to worry about all that. We all laughed about “breaking the seal”. Hahahaha! That was the first time I was in line. By the third time, I was a little bored with conversations about what goes on between your knees and nipples.
So, instead of staring at latch on the blue plastic door, I had a little look around.
Because it’s somewhere between 25 and minus 76 degrees up here, fashion is limited to your coat, your boots and what you have on your head. The coats were predominately puffy and the boots were predictably flat. Dullsville. It really boils down to what you wear on your nogg. That’s where the fun starts!
The basic stocking cap was represented in all colors and patterns. Unfortunately they all end up creeping up on heads until they form a little point on top. Colorful Coneheads. Overall, not a good look except for that one guy who you just know is hiding something far worse under there.
My personal fave is the hat with the earflap thing going on. Do they have a name? I don’t know it. But it cracks me up. It’s like the Basset Hound equivalent of a summer baseball hat. Lots of colleges were represented as well as the fake fur of several animals. The earflaps were left dangling or
pinned up depending on the age of the wearer. Either way, these hats are a solid choice if the message you are trying to send says, “I am so cool, I can make this dorky hat look good.” Limited success with that, but they all get an A for effort. Even the ones who were actually too dorky to realize the irony.
After my third microbrew and on my fourth potty stop, I started hallucinating. I know this sounds crazy but I could swear people were wearing road kill on their heads. I saw foxes and raccoons. I quit drinking before I saw actual pink elephants. (that’s not entirely true….)
Fump Fump
“Jeez o’Pete, Dave! What the heck was that?”
“Gosh, Dan. I think it was a little woodland creature!”
“Ya know… I really hate this pinhead hat the Mrs. bought at Meijer….”
This weekend my Fest of Choice is the WinterFest in Glen Arbor. Even as I type, I’m simmering nine gallons of “Non Traditional Chili” for the Cook-Off. Nine gallons is a lot. There will be more people on the deck at Boonedocks than actually live in Glen Arbor. So, like, 700.
I’m feeling pretty confident. It’s a darn fine chili. Not my first rodeo, y’all. I’m from Texas. I’m also partnering up with a local celebrity, Sas Quatch. Hopelessly chauvinistic, Sas will be the first to tell you he wields a mighty fine ladle. It takes a very long ladle to get down to the good stuff in those big pots. He thinks he deserves an award for this. Don’t they all…
Sas will be rockin’ a cowboy hat for this particular Fest. I’m not sure about me. I don’t want to dangle my ear flap tassels in the chili, though, so that one is definitely out.
http://www.mynorth.com/My-North/January-2011/White-Hot-Fun-at-Glen-...
In the winter, they (we) have to make our own fun. WinterFest, IceFest, WineFest, BeerFest, I’m-So-Bored-I’m-Gonna-Jump-Naked-In-The-Lake Fest. Name it – it’s Fested.Last weekend I went to the MicroBrew/MusicFest. I spent a lot of time people watching as I was, personally, having a PortaPottyFest.
Oh, the ladies bemoaned the sad reality of sitting down. We strategized about the best way to peel off layers without dragging our hems. The men gloated about not having to worry about all that. We all laughed about “breaking the seal”. Hahahaha! That was the first time I was in line. By the third time, I was a little bored with conversations about what goes on between your knees and nipples.
So, instead of staring at latch on the blue plastic door, I had a little look around.
Because it’s somewhere between 25 and minus 76 degrees up here, fashion is limited to your coat, your boots and what you have on your head. The coats were predominately puffy and the boots were predictably flat. Dullsville. It really boils down to what you wear on your nogg. That’s where the fun starts!
The basic stocking cap was represented in all colors and patterns. Unfortunately they all end up creeping up on heads until they form a little point on top. Colorful Coneheads. Overall, not a good look except for that one guy who you just know is hiding something far worse under there.
My personal fave is the hat with the earflap thing going on. Do they have a name? I don’t know it. But it cracks me up. It’s like the Basset Hound equivalent of a summer baseball hat. Lots of colleges were represented as well as the fake fur of several animals. The earflaps were left dangling orpinned up depending on the age of the wearer. Either way, these hats are a solid choice if the message you are trying to send says, “I am so cool, I can make this dorky hat look good.” Limited success with that, but they all get an A for effort. Even the ones who were actually too dorky to realize the irony.
After my third microbrew and on my fourth potty stop, I started hallucinating. I know this sounds crazy but I could swear people were wearing road kill on their heads. I saw foxes and raccoons. I quit drinking before I saw actual pink elephants. (that’s not entirely true….)Fump Fump
“Jeez o’Pete, Dave! What the heck was that?”
“Gosh, Dan. I think it was a little woodland creature!”
“Ya know… I really hate this pinhead hat the Mrs. bought at Meijer….”
This weekend my Fest of Choice is the WinterFest in Glen Arbor. Even as I type, I’m simmering nine gallons of “Non Traditional Chili” for the Cook-Off. Nine gallons is a lot. There will be more people on the deck at Boonedocks than actually live in Glen Arbor. So, like, 700.
I’m feeling pretty confident. It’s a darn fine chili. Not my first rodeo, y’all. I’m from Texas. I’m also partnering up with a local celebrity, Sas Quatch. Hopelessly chauvinistic, Sas will be the first to tell you he wields a mighty fine ladle. It takes a very long ladle to get down to the good stuff in those big pots. He thinks he deserves an award for this. Don’t they all…
Sas will be rockin’ a cowboy hat for this particular Fest. I’m not sure about me. I don’t want to dangle my ear flap tassels in the chili, though, so that one is definitely out.
http://www.mynorth.com/My-North/January-2011/White-Hot-Fun-at-Glen-...
Looking forward to hearing how it was! No way anyone could beat Texas chili :)
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